how should we set up 0ur estate planning with two sets of grown children from previous marriages?.?

[1234abcd]

we don't want to exclude our children but they really don't see eye to eye with each other. should we just include the grand children? some parents won't use the money for them. yet some of our children think we should leave it to them divided up 8ways. can you help? it will be in the range of several thousands .

[CarlosTheHoosier]

You should set it up how you want it set up. It's your and your spouse's estate. What your kids want is not important, and personally I think its horribly rude for them to tell you how to divvy it up. If you want your grand kids to get some for their use, you can put a portion in a trust fund that they can receive when they turn 18 or enroll in college.

I HATE to say this, but if you're unsure how to do some of the things you want, you should contact a lawyer. It's really not that expensive, and a well written will can save your heirs a ton of grief if one or more of them decides they want more than you wanted them to have. My Great Uncle, Great Aunt, and Grandmother havent spoken in almost 20 years, since my Great Grandmother died, due to the fussing and fighting over her meager estate.

Go to a lawyer, talk with him or her about what you want to happen, and after that forget about it and enjoy the rest of your life!

[melvinschmugmeier]

If you can in fact come to an agreement, it will have to be written into an agreement possibly outside of the will the essentially establish an account that will disperse the funds. If this type of an agreement is not made prior to one of your deaths then the surviving spouse will get their way -- this will probably lead to animosity between the members of the next generation.

[Financial Answer Guy]

Consult an attorney and a Financial Planner, esp. one that focuses on the psychological side of estate planning. While I do agree to an extent that this is your estate and your collective children should not dictate your choices; you will obviously care what their opinions are. Discussions of mortality and money can be tense in the best of circumstances, but it sounds like the contention between your children and your spouse's children add another layer to this.

Working with an estate planner will help you and your spouse explore exactly what you want to happen and what problems might arise. The he/she will help design an estate plan that takes those items into consideration.